It’s 9:38pm when I start writing this piece. Am half drunk after downing 250 ml of Kibao vodka. Am I half drunk or half sober? Depends on who you’re talking to. My half drunkenness is not from doing the 250ml of vodka. Before this I passed by “muchita” the busaa place for a tin or so. Stereotypically you’d be forgiven to say I did the busaa because of the January a.k.a njaanuary but the fact that am in the bar doing vodka means your fears have been dispelled. Well the fact that am doing Kibao again fucks up my defence above. It’s not the type of drink I indulge in on a good day. Nevertheless, it’s a little class or so I convince myself.
The truth of the matter is that January is that month! That month where the only thing you can donate is blood, the only thing you can lose is network, the only thing you can give is pregnancy, the only thing you can pay is attention, the only thing you can…….. What’s that? Vodka has escaped with that one. So here I am at the bar seated alone in a corner where WiFi is reachable because where the other guys are seated WiFi is not accessible and am not using my mobile data to blog when there’s WiFi 15 meters away. Heri niwe pekee yangu (I’d rather be alone). It’s now 22:11hours at this point and my mother in law(once one always one sorry Faith) sends me a WhatsApp message ordering t-shirts and I have to respond ASAP. So chill out I’ll be back.
22:18hrs and am back after of course filling my glass with more Kibao as well so let’s get done with this. Get done with what? What are we even talking about? As we speak am now three quarter way drunk or is it quarter way sober? That still depends on who you’re talking to. I prefer the later. Sober sounds better no matter the degree. Am even thinking of stopping this post from here because who blogs drunk? But before I go, do you think my mum will ever forgive me? How about my sisters? My dad? My brothers? Fuck! My brothers can go to hell for all I care. What have I done to them? Nothing! Don’t ask me what I’ve done the others because I’ll get emotional. Especially my mum. Wait….. My sister in law. Oh Shit!
“haiya, Kwani Kesho ni tarehe tano?” sorry that wasn’t meant for you. Ignore that. I was talking to George my colleague as he passed my WiFi blogging spot on his way to the toilet. He’s having tusker cider so his constant washroom trips are understandable. Wait…. He’s having tusker cider in January is he illuminati?
Forget about George… Where was I? Oh yeah I was talking about my new khaki trouser I bought from Evelyn in December(bought? Naah! I haven’t paid till now 27th Jan so what do you call that? Buying or borrowing? But I’ll pay when we get paid ama?). But was I really talking about a trouser? Fuck! It’s 22:31 and I want to finish this post after exactly one hour. That’s at 22:38hours but am already short of Shit to last me 7 minutes. Juu ya hiyo story, let me go get another shot of Kibao by the time I come back it’ll be 22:38hours and that will be the end of my drunk post.
It’s 22:38 guys. Above is my drunk post. We’re done!